It's been awhile since my last post. School had it's way with me, and didn't even give me a reach around and here I am, left laying in the bed unsatisfied. Okay, so maybe that was a bit over dramatic...
The point is, here I am, another semester down the tubes of my life that I will never get back, and I seem to be getting further and further from my goal the more I work at it. It seems like, every semester, without fail, I find a class I have overlooked and need to take in order to complete my AA. It's so frustrating.
And when I get frustrated, I get down. I try not to, but it's difficult. Here, every one around me is graduating and moving on to wonderful careers and making the money I want to. And what am I doing? Sitting at home, waiting for my supervisor to call me and give me hours so I can support my family.
Needless to say, this has put a stop to the whole "book" aspect of my life, and I have thrown myself, full throttle, into finding a stable job. I hate this. What can I do though, right? Apply. I have. I get no calls because my resume doesn't say "AA" or "BA". Even though I am fully qualified.
And what really cheeses me off is that I know, for a fact, that the jobs I have interviewed for should have been mine, but they aren't because of my size. I know, I know, it sounds horrible, but it's true. I can see the looks on their faces when I walk in and it's horrible. I've tried everything I can and it didn't work, so now I've just given up on my weight issues. And all the rest of the issues too. F*ck it all. Who cares?! >sigh<
It's kind of difficult to do anything when you are constantly in pain. Makes it just a wee bit difficult to move around when you can't take anything for the pain and the Motrin is no help at all. The thyroid is not an issue, my levels are normal. I'm having excruciating pain in my muscles and joints. I need to see a doctor.
I need to fix myself.
